I am so thankful for my (new)old friend. I’ve mentioned her in several previous posts. We chat every once and a while during the week but on Wednesdays we spend a couple of hours talking about Jesus and what she has read in the Bible during the week. She has read through John and is almost finished with Acts. Next week we will start Genesis, and we are doing that so she can get a context for studying Leviticus! (That’s her suggestion, not mine, mind you!)

The way I’ve been handing our discussions is just to let her read and then ask me questions. I will raise questions from time to time, and point out some things she might have missed, but most of this process has been guided by her relationship with the Spirit. I see myself as a director or guide or facilitator more than a hardcore teacher. I’ve shared with her my own spiritual journey and my own struggles. I’ve just been transparent, and let her see that we are all broken people trying to be obedient to God as he instructs us.

But not being that hardcore teacher has not been easy. One of the things I’ve had to resist is pushing too hard or trying to immerse her in my own Christian thought too quickly. I’m an enthusiastic person and I really enjoy working with pagans, young Christians, and people who really have a desire for a deeper relationship with Christ. But with my friend, I’ve had to press the pause button several times. I’ve had to reign in my enthusiasm and do things that are against my nature, which has been both difficult and beneficial. Had I not pressed paused, I would have already pushed her to read books that I thought would expand her knowledge and open up a new way of thinking for her. But instead of encouraging her to read some very good books by some very good authors, I’ve held back. Instead of deep studies in the texts where I point out all the fascinating things I find, I have resisted, preferring to let her explore the Bible as the Spirit leads.

That doesn’t mean we don’t talk about the deeper things of our faith. In fact, her inquisitive nature has actually pushed me. She asks questions I hadn’t considered and was certainly not prepared for. I’ve had to study more and be ready for anything as a result. I’ve benefitted greatly.

In this case, the spiritual formation process has been less systematic and linear and more about letting the Spirit, through relationship and experience, lead her. I tell her often I’m just the guide on the journey.

Also, instead of trying to immerse her in a church culture, I’ve actually tried to keep her out of it. Now that doesn’t mean I’ve not encouraged her to go to church. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When the process started I mentioned a church near her pastored by a friend of mine and encouraged her to go there. On January 1, 2012, she actually became a member of that church and I will get to fly down in a couple of weeks and baptize her there. She is also attending a small group that meets on Sunday morning.

But I have tried not to allow her to get immersed in a cultural Christianity. She has long seen the evidence of this cultural Christianity, particularly of the Southern nature. And she questions much of it. There have been many times she will ask me something that sounds like this: “The Bible says….so why do Christians ignore it?” Or “The Bible says…so why do Christians say that what I just read is wrong?” Sometimes I just have to sigh…

Why have I done this? Here’s why, and it’s the major point I want to make (though there is so much more here that I may bring out later). Most of her social network is made up of people who are pagans, marginal Christians, or misfits. And to draw her out of that and ask her to get immersed in a programmatic church that defines holiness and spiritual formation by how often you show up to church meetings and by how much information you know about God would effectively anesthetize her influence among her friends. So the very people who need the light of Jesus may have the light dimmed or removed.

She is valuable where she is. To take her out of that would be the equivalent to taking a light out of a room with no windows and shutting the door.

I’m not against spiritual formation processes. I’m not against the change that happens through socialization in a community of Faith. What bothers me in churches is a one-size-fits-all process that far too often removes new Christians from their spheres of influence and asks them to conform to a culturally-oriented version of Christianity. Too often, churches socialize people out of the world and call that living a holy life and being obedient to God.

But the mission of God takes place primarily in the world, not in the walls of a building. So many in our churches are in the world but out of influence as a result.

With the exception of some cultural areas, the church is in the world but out of influence. And what little influence it has is waining. We need lights in dark rooms, not more lights in a light store. We need to help people understand and redeem culture. We need to reframe what it means to be a follower of Jesus. And we need to trust the Spirit with those we guide to Jesus, especially those whose social connections allow them to light up a room with the light of Christ. It is the Spirit’s job, is it not, to form them and lead them.

So let’s trust Him with them. And maybe we can learn all over what it means to be in the world, not of it, while at the same live an actual Christ-like life that helps guides others to the feet of Jesus. And when we do that, we influence the world and see the Kingdom of God come in our midst.